coach.
dancer.
wife.
ABOUT
WHO AM I?
Hello there! My name is Ashely Mayer, I am a wife, certified marriage coach, and award winning competitive ballroom dance teacher, who is crazy-passionate about helping couples take an ACTIVE approach to their marriage health.
Using relationship coaching strategies straight from the dance floor, I get couples off the couch and into each other's arms (literally) for a total relationship reset and a whole lotta fun!
WHY DANCE-BASED COACHING?
In my 19 years as a career ballroom dance competitor and instructor, I have worked with hundreds of couples in every stage of life. From newly wedded lovers, to disgruntled divorcees (yes really), I’ve witnessed first hand the impact dancing with one another had on their relationships with each other and themselves.
I have always been fascinated by relationship psychology, and I used to joke that if I hadn’t gone the dance path I would’ve become a psychologist. But it wasn’t until one couple of mine very early in my teaching career, made a comment after a particularly eye opening lesson, that I began to pay closer attention to the parallels of the skills I was teaching on the dance floor, and the skills needed to succeed in committed love relationships.
My student said to me,
​
"Ashley, I have to thank you. These lessons have been so beneficial for our marriage, and we both agree they are just as important in our relationship as our couples therapy sessions, but… SO MUCH MORE FUN!"
That statement struck a chord in me, and I carried her words close over my long teaching career. That seed has since grown into the dance-based relationship coaching business I have built today.
You see, the skills we teach dance students are the same kind of skills couples need to learn when navigating their lives together. Struggles with connection, communication, vulnerability, and trust come up in both and have to be addressed in order for the couple to move in sync. Without these skills there is no harmony on the dance floor or in life.
my
Hubby!
been there too
i've
I noticed a similar disconnect in my own love life during those early dance years. I started to see a pattern of failed communication and resentment pop up for me in my professional dance partnerships the same way it did in my love relationships. I had a habit of allowing my partners to run over me, and then resenting them for pushing me around or not taking my needs into consideration. This led to me shutting down and eventually walking away, marking the end of MANY love and dance relationships alike.
Eventually with the help of my coaches I learned how to hold my own on the dance floor, balance my partner's weight, communicate my needs assertively, and truly show up for my partner by holding myself accountable for my role in the dance.
I realized it was time to do the same for my love life. So, armed with the knowledge I’d gained, I dove head first into my own self improvement journey and long story short, I did the work that led me to the man I am happily married to today!
my mission
My own life altering experience with the power of dance, coupled with the years of witnessing first-hand the transformations of my students, lit a fire in me to create a program for couples as an ACTIVE alternative to traditional couples therapy by marrying coaching principles with lessons from the dance floor.
I threw myself into marriage and relationship studies and completed my ICF Coaching Certification in 2020. Since then I have been hard at work building and testing my methods, researching the best strategies to combine these two worlds and helping couples who are out of step with one another, stuck in their habits but eager for help, push the reset button in their marriage and re-ignite the passion they so desperately desire.
